Healthy relationships add to your wellbeing, fueled by communication, respect and boundaries. They are proven to have lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem and more empathy than unhealthy relationships. To help you determine if your relationship is a healthy one, consider the following questions.

Shared Goals

Having shared goals in your health relationship can be the difference between success and failure. Whether it's a goal to get in better shape together or to communicate more about your finances, having these goals can keep you motivated and accountable to each other, which is critical for a healthy, long-term relationship. In this study, 80 participants in a newly dating relationship completed two self-report questionnaires 3 months apart, using validated assessments of goal commitment and importance. One week later, independent raters classified participants' three salient goals as joint (both partners independently mentioned the same open-ended goal) or individual (one partner only mentioned one of the goals).

Over-reporting — the perception that a goal was joint when in fact it was not mentioned among the three most salient goals — occurred in one-third of all goals. Multilevel models showed that more joint goals were associated with greater goal progress and lower allostatic load, but only for adults who had little over-reporting.

Shared Values

Shared values are the foundation of any healthy relationship. They help partners understand each other’s goals and beliefs, communicate effectively, and deepen intimacy and connection. Developing shared values requires open communication and exploring new experiences together. It also requires willingness to compromise and a commitment to regularly reassessing and adapting. A shared understanding of health as a cultural value is a critical component of the culture of health. It promotes social cohesion, encourages actions that improve population health and well-being outcomes, and motivates social movement toward an equitable health system and a culture of health.

We explore three drivers that undergird making health a shared value: mindset and expectations, sense of community, and civic engagement. These drivers, based on a literature review and stakeholder engagement, identify where policy and research action is needed to advance progress on population health outcomes.

Shared Support

Shared support is defined as a person’s willingness to help another. This can include emotional support, informational support, and shared decision-making. The health relationship requires a great deal of shared support. For example, when a health-care worker is experiencing a difficult time during a global pandemic, it can be important for them to have someone they trust to turn to for advice and information.

In addition to sharing goals, values and happiness, the health relationship also involves a great deal of shared support. This is why it’s important for both members of a dyad to feel supported by each other. We explored this effect using our APIMeM model (Selig & Precher, 2008). The model includes eight indirect effects that examine the extent to which support mediates the link between shared reality and relationship satisfaction.

Shared Happiness

Several studies have shown that people who often share their happiness with others feel more satisfied and happy. They also have a greater sense of vitality or energy and zest for life. This is especially true for couples in long-term relationship. The social support that comes with a partner can help decrease the production of stress hormones, like cortisol, which can have negative effects on health.

It has also been shown that people who share a lot of things are more likely to take on healthy habits. For example, if your partner encourages you to eat healthy food or exercise regularly, you’re more likely to follow their lead. Sharing resources and goods can help decrease economic inequality, too, which increases well-being. It’s important to remember, however, that sharing can be hard and take practice.

Shared Health

Shared health is the idea that a community can pool its resources to cover medical expenses. This is usually done through a religious-based network that requires members to agree to live by certain moral values and lifestyles. One key to this type of network is that it's generally cheaper than insurance, since you don't have deductibles or copays. However, it's important to read the rules carefully and choose a network with low deductibles for essential services (like wellness exams and mental health care) and high deductibles for catastrophic medical needs.

Final Word

In addition to shared values and goals, SHG puts forth a set of social norms that guide both individual and group action in striving for health justice. These are called public moral norms and are a motivational and authoritative standard for joint commitment and decision making.